The Subconscious Mind

“Hi. I am……..

Actually I don’t have a name because I don’t need one. But sometimes people call me the narrator.

To be more specific I’m the one sitting next to you. Watching each and every action of yours and later telling you that whatever you did was actually ridiculous or coming up with new ideas for a more evolved action which you already performed.

Still didn’t get it?

That’s ok. You usually ignore my presence with you.

This story is about me and my friend. Well let me warn you in advance.

‘It’s a very long story.’

So you better finish all of your work and read this.

And yes don’t forget to take some eatables so that you don’t break the flow while reading this.

And the main question.

Who Am I?

You will find it.”

Few months earlier…………..

“Armaan Sharma?” Said the voice on the other side of the phone.

“Yes.” Armaan replied.

“It’s a call to remind you of your appointment with doctor Batra this Thursday.”

“Oh. Thank you for reminder. I’ll be there on time.” Said Armaan.

The same evening…………

“What happened bro?” asked Hardik.

“Hmm? Nothing. I’m all right.” Armaan said.

“Really? You look quite tensed. Are you hiding something?” Hardik asked.

“No buddy. Everything is good.” Armaan said.

“Really? I don’t think so. It’s been 15 minutes since our order arrived and the foodie is sitting like an old man suffering from constipation.”

“Hmm? Order? Oh. Sorry I forgot.” Armaan said picking up his burger.

“Where are you brother? Stop dreaming with open eyes and come to the reality.” Hardik said.

“I am.” Armaan said taking his bite.

“Would you like come for snooker?” Hardik asked.

“Mmmm, no. I have some work to do. So I think I should push off.” Armaan said.

“Ok. As you wish buddy. Take care.” Hardik said.

“But let’s finish this first.” Armaan said pointing towards the glass of mojitos.

“Ha ha. Yes.” Hardik said.

Armaan was sitting on his couch fiddling with his phone that suddenly something strange happened.

“Who are you fooling man?” came a voice from nowhere.

“Who…Who are you?” Armaan asked, terrified, searching for the source of the voice.

“Here” again came a voice and he saw someone sitting right next to him.
“Whoaaaa.” He jumped off. “Who the fuc…….” He stopped in the middle of his sentence giving a surprising look at the figure.

The person was none other than Armaan himself.

“Hi. I’m Armaan.” Said the person.

He didn’t respond, still surprised.

“Who……who are you?” He asked.

“I’m Armaan.” The person said.

“You don’t fuck me with man.” He said.

“Calm buddy. Ever heard of subconscious mind?” asked the person.

“Yes.” Armaan replied.

“I’m your subconscious mind.” The person said.

“Hmm?” Armaan gave it a puzzled look.

“I AM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.” The person said.

“What?” Armaan said. This time, terribly surprised.

“What what?” asked the person.

“How? How is it even possible?” Armaan asked.

“Let’s not discuss about the possibilities. The real thing is that I’m the only one in this whole world who knows you better than you. So tell me who you are fooling?” subconscious mind Armaan asked.

“Fooling? I’m not fooling anyone.” Armaan said.

“Hmmm?” the subconscious Armaan gave him a rusty look. “It would be a better if you stop fooling me. What do you think I don’t know the reason behind your dilemma?”

“Oh really? Then tell me what it is Mr. Subconscious me.” He said.

“Ayushka”

“What?”

“I said Ayushka you deaf person.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Armaan said.

“Ha ha ha. Nice punch Mr. Armaan Sharma. I can’t stop laughing.”

“Logically you are laughing at yourself. Am I right?”

“First tell me. Am I Right?”

“I need to sleep. I have an important appointment tomorrow.”

“I know. Dr. Batra.”

“If you know that, then let me sleep.”

(Narrator’s pause)

By this time, you may have realized who I am.

But if not, read it again.

At Dr. Batra’s clinic………

“Armaan, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just you sinus which is causing problems. I’m just increasing your dosage and you will be fine.” Doctor said.

“Okay doctor.” Armaan replied.

“If it causes more problems, immediately contact me.”

“Okay.”

“Your sinus is a big pain buddy.” I said.

“Oh so you feel too. I thought you are just a mental case scenario.” Armaan said.

“I’m watching you buddy. You are going great with your punch lines. Keep it up.” I winked at him and he gave me his signature rusty look.

“I think your phone is vibrating.” I told him.

“Hmm? Let me check.” He said while looking at his phone. And the way his facial expressions changed, it was an easy guess for me to tell who the caller is.

“Hey. Wassup.” Armaan said to the person on the phone.

“Hmm? Ok. 6:30 P.M. at DD. Okay. See you there.” He said and disconnected the phone.

“Ahaan. Date. We are going on a date.” I said.

“We? Seriously dude? And for your kind information it’s not a date.” Armaan said.

“Yes buddy. We. You forgot who I am? And I know it is not a date. I was just playing with you. With this face the only date you deserve is a court date.” I said. “And don’t worry. I just want to spend some quality time with you. So it’s just Armaan and Armaan time. I’m not going to bother you in public with others. So go son. Enjoy your date.”

“Arghhhh.”

“Ok sorry.”

(Narrator)

“Well let me tell you one thing. This friend of mine is actually a soft at heart person. Emotional, selectively introvert and a genuine personality.

Ok I won’t brag about myself.”

“Hi.” Armaan said.

“Hello.” Ayushka replied.

“What happened? You look tensed.” He asked looking at her face.

“Nothing, it’s just some few issues with my friend.”

“Oh. So ultimately there’s nothing I can help with.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry. How are you?”

“I’m good. And it will be waste of words asking how are you.”

“Shut Up.” Ayushka smiled.

“Finally, the signature smiley.”

“He he. Yes.”

Later that night…..

“That was a great evening.” I said.

“Yes. But she is still tensed I think.” Armaan said.

“About that friend thing?”

“Yes. As you are a part of me, can you give me some idea to cheer her up?” Armaan asked.

“Who me? I think you already did.” I said.

“Hmm? How?”

“By sending her a message. See see, she’s typing.” I said.

“It was a great evening.” Ayushka messaged.
“See, I told you. You already cheered her up.” I said.

“Seems like I did it.” Armaan said.

“It was a great pleasure to see you after such a long time.” He replied to Ayushka’s message.

“I missed you.” Ayushka said.

“In spite of texting you daily, I missed you too.” Armaan replied.

“Aww, really?”

“Yes really.”

“Yes. :-p” she replied.

“Hey you met your doctor today?” Ayushka asked.

“Yes.”

“What did he said?”

“Nothing. It was just my sinus.”

“Oh. Get well soon buddy.” Ayushka wished him.

“Hope so.” Armaan said.

“Not hope so. You will be absolutely alright and come out as the healthier version of you.” Ayushka said.

“Aye Aye captain.” He replied.

“Yes that’s good.”

“Thank you.J”

“OK I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m feeling sleepy.” Armaan texted.

“Oh. Ok, you can go. Good night. J” Ayushka replied.

“Good night. :-)” Armaan replied back and closed his phone.

“Liar.” I said.

“Hmm?”

“You are such a pathetic liar. Tell me honestly. Are you really feeling sleepy?”

“Mmmm. No.”

“So why did you lied to the one you love?” I asked.

“Wait, what? Who told you I love her. Dude she’s just a good friend and that’s it.” He said.
“Liar Liar.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Liar Liar.”

“Will you stop singing?” he said.

“Liar Liar.”

“Liar Liar.”

“Liar Liar.”

“Liar Liar.”

“Will you…………………” he stared at me angrily.

“First tell me who are fooling buddy. I am with you since your birth. Every time, everywhere, I was with you. So it’s better to stop lying and just admit what I said.” I said.

He sat on the couch and started looking at the roof.

“I don’t know if I love her or not.” He said.

“Ok just do one thing. Answer yes or no to my questions. Fine?” I said.

“Fine.” He said.

“Do you feel cherished when she text you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel bad for her whenever she is sad no matter what the problem is?”

“Yes.”

“Do you adore her presence whenever she is near you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel jealous of people who meet her on a regular basis?”

“Yes.”

“I want you to answer this very carefully. What’s the reason behind your constant over thinking?”

He kept silent for a moment.

“She.”

“I’m done and you know your answers. And I don’t think there’s anything else to say.”

“But…….”

“No If or but. The thing is you love her. And that’s for final. Congratulations you finally realized that you lost your heart to someone beautiful, beautiful and amazingly adorable.” I said.

“Will you listen to me for a second?” he said.

“Hmm? What happened?” I said.

“I hate it.”

“Hmm? You hate it? Whatever you are saying is making me confused as hell.”

“I hate this feeling.”

“Why?”

“Because these feelings are of no use. They are not going to reciprocate in any way.

Dude she’s a good girl and I admit that I love her than anyone else. You don’t know how I feel whenever I see her. I never believed in butterflies in stomach thing but every time I get a glimpse of her, I feel a sweet tickling gesture. Every other time. You know me. You know how restless I become when I never get a word from her. There were days when I used to feel like it’s just opposite sex attraction and nothing else. But later I realized that it is way way more than just attraction.”

I sat there in complete silence. I was looking at him and I knew that his feelings were genuine. The way he was describing her, there was a constant glow on his face.

I know what you are thinking. I’m his subconscious self and I don’t know about his feelings?

Believe me; I was partially unaware of this thing. I knew that there’s something which is bothering me and that’s why I came out of his mind. You people really underestimate the power of the subconscious you.

Let me tell you one thing…………….. Wait, he’s going to say something. Talk to you later.

“I always wanted to tell her about this. But every time I try to do so, I get scared.” He said.

“Scared? Why?” I asked.

“I’m scared of the consequence of my act. I think I will lose her. Maybe I will never see her again after this. Because it’s only me with this feeling. For her, I’m just a friend.”

“But you need to take a step.”

“I know.”

“Then don’t hesitate and go.”

“I can’t.”

“But why?”

“I told you.”

“Either this way or that, you are on the verge of losing her.”

“Hmm.”

“So why not give it a shot? No matter what will the consequence, at least you tried.”

“Hmm.”

“So? What’s your decision?”

“I don’t know. I’m still scared.”

“I can understand your feeling. But sitting here, with the feelings kept hard inside the heart is not going to help you. Rest is your decision. Good night.”

“Good Night.”

…………………

So,

That’s all.

But why am I telling you all this?

Why am I sharing our personal conversation with you?

Because every story is written for a reason and in a world where the real concept of love is lost somewhere far away, we need to bring it back.

Love at first sight is not a thing. We need to differentiate between the concept of attraction and affection and that’s where things get messed up.

Now that’s up to you guys how you read these words and how you conclude their meanings. No matter what happens next, never be afraid of expressing your feelings because you don’t know what comes next.

That’s it everyone.

Thank you for giving this piece your valuable time.

I know what you are thinking.

What about Armaan?

Well he expressed his feelings to Ayushka a few days later

Things didn’t go as we thought.

Because…….

 She accepted that she stole his heart.

 

The Letter…….

Dear Future Partner

I don’t know if you are reading this or not, but for the next few minutes, each and every word here is dedicated to you,  for you by a small piece of you.

I hope you are doing great in your life. Everyday i think of you. I admit your existence. And want to embrace your presence and i know so do you. But still we are unable to do so.

Don’t worry, we will be together soon. You’ve waited for so long, please wait for some more time. There were times when i almost lost hope. There were times when my faith got devastated. There were times when i was lonely with no one by my side. But then it’s today when I’m writing this letter to you.
I’m writing this letter to you to tell you that yes there’s someone out there waiting eagerly for you. I don’t know if you are a complete stranger or someone in my friend list. But there’s one thing i’m sure about is that we will meet soon.
By the time i come across you, i request you to hold on.

Wait for me.

Because I’m doing the same.

Exclusively Yours